Small Dog Commandments

I ran across this dog commandments poem on the web recently and searched for an author, but could not find one. 

If anyone knows, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due. 

I’m sure it was written with all dogs in mind, but it speaks LOUDLY of Small Dog breeds. 


The Dog Commandments
As seen through the eyes of a small dog lover...

I.   Thou shalt not act half-starved whenever thou watcheth me eat.

II.   Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water thy Christmas tree.

III.  Thou shalt not lie down next to me and make licking and popping noises.

IV.  Thou shalt not treat my shoes as your chew toy.

V.   Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the kitty litter box.

VI.  Thou shalt not pass gas and then walk away as if I have offended thee.

VII.  Thou shalt not run away in pursuit of a good time. Thou hast been neutered.

VIII. Thou shalt not hide thy bones under the covers or under my pillow.

IX.  Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2 A.M. in the morning.

X.  Thou shalt not sneak up and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.


--Author Unknown—


May I add a few commandments of my own?   

I know there is only supposed to be Ten Commandments, but as of today, I don’t think my dogs can count past five.

 

  • Thou shalt not expect my undivided attention 24/7.
  • Thou shalt eat of the food provided and not demand tidbits from my plate.
  • Thou shalt not hoard my entire pillow, but bequeath me a small portion to lay my head.
  • Thou shalt not bark into my ear at 4:30 AM in the morning. Thou shall be taken out in due time.
  • Thou shalt not gather the entire multitude (i.e. pack) to accompany me to the bathroom. 
  • Thou shalt not look at me with those big eyes, lest I give into your little whims. 

  • Thou shalt not devour thy last stool, then endeavor to lick my face.

  • Thou shalt leave all leaves, sticks, seeds, stones, and all else that you or I should not eat outside the house.
  • Thou mayst sit upon my lap, keep my feet warm, provide my with devotion and companionship.

Amen.

To the Top of Dog Commandments



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